IN THE MIDDLE

“In the middle” is a non fiction short story inspired by the things I went through while growing up and feeling overwhelmed by who I was becoming forgetting my balance and myself.

I have not seen her in years. We used to be best friends once. When I first saw her, we were just kids. She has black hair, green eyes, and golden skin that it is impossible to ignore. She constantly had a sad look on her face making me wondered what she was thinking. We grew up apart with time, our differences started to be very much noticeable after a while and for a few years I forgot about her, all about her, I did not remember that tiny little smile she made when happiness struck her for a few seconds, or the glow in her eyes when we talked about things we liked, I did not remember, until today.

We were there again, in the same place we said goodbye, only now with different motives:

Me: You know, I never thought I would see you again - I said indifferently.

Her: Why not? How so?

Me: Well, it has been, -Slight Cough-, it's been a few years.

Her: Did you think that we would never meet again? - She said astonished.

Me: I knew that I was going to see you at some point in my life.

Her: And why is that?

Me: Don't be silly, - I paused for a moment to look at those eyes before I changed the subject - Aren't you tired of being there?

Her: Of course I am. That is why I am here. – She replied doing that little smile I love to see.

Me: Why have you come without an invitation?

Her: I am sorry; I could not wait any longer.

Me: I am surprised that you have been able to stay in the darkness and loneliness for so long.

Her: I am tired too, - Then she looked at me with demand and said - I came to you for a change.

Me: (Laughs)... And HOW can I help you with that?

Her: In the whole world you are the only person who gets me inside out, you know my fears, dreams, or at least you used to. I am tired, tired of the four walls that I have born with, the walls that I am used to be around, the walls that now have turned real but ironically like and I do not want to give up. Me: I am sorry, I cannot help you. I cannot help someone who does not want to choose sides, you leave or you stay. How does it feel to be so... - Looking in my mind some words to say, I do not want to cause her pain - far away?

Her: Honestly, it feels like dreaming and feels different every time. I like my walls, they make me happy and secure. I feel like I do not want to leave...

Me: So why... - I interrupted her-

Her: But, I cannot be there any longer, - she rushed to say - I cannot listen to the people talking anymore, I cannot feel properly, I am always so bored and lonely but I just cannot give up. - She got close to me and strongly stated...I do not want to choose from. I do not want to choose between day or night, life or death, sky or earth, sun or moon, good or bad, I want to be in THE MIDDLE, in the middle of the chaos like the horizon looks on earth, like rain falling from the sky but yet not close enough to touch the ground, like an airplane flying across the sky, like this line in front of us. I want you to help me be, in the middle, not perfect not too flawed... just balanced.

Me: I cannot, I am not balanced myself. - I said indifferent, even when I felt too mesmerized by the words but I did not want her to know.

Her: Of course, you are not, that is why I came to help you too. You are so bright, so perfect, and so beautiful, you always choose a side, you are the sky, you are the day, you are the sun, you are good, you are life, you are perfect and you know you cannot survive like that. - She got even closer almost like whispering and said:

- ''let's change together''.

I knew I needed her. She was all I was missing in these past few years, that part of me that I was afraid to embrace and take care over my heart and mind from time to time and I just knew even before we met that we needed to make peace with each other and love each other like we were going to die tomorrow.

Then I looked in the mirror and I said to myself: '' I am her, she is me. I'm the sun, I'm the moon, I'm the sky, I'm the earth, I'm the day, I'm the night, I'm the good and I'm the bad, I'm the middle, I'm balanced, I have to love her as I am.

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Sonya Peña was born in Santo Domingo, DR, on March 20, 1990. She has loved the arts since a young age, her first passions were singing and acting, later own she discovered the fantastic world of books and storytelling, these opened her imagination to create her own stories. A curious fact about her is that she was born smiling, according to her mom, and smiles have become a huge part of her personality. She is majoring in advertising. Her wish is to write a sci-fi/adventure book.